I cry in Mass

My husband calls me a leaky tap. I don't deny it. Nearly every episode of Oprah brings me to tears. I cry when I'm happy. I cry when I'm sad. I cry when I'm anxious. I cry when I'm mad. When the water works are set in motion, there's really nothing I can do about it. Besides being embarassing in public, I don't see anything wrong in being a cry-baby.

I cry in Mass. It started on Pentecost Sunday 3-4 weeks ago. Pentecost is the 7th Sunday after Easter; it commemorates the descent of the Holy Spirit on the Apostles and other followers of Jesus. This year during Pentecost Mass, I was deeply and fully touched by the presence of the Holy Spirit. The whole celebration, the music and words moved me beyond description. All the songs were in celebration of the Holy Spirit. Every word that left my mouth left this deep impression on my soul. And I wept. I wept tears of great joy, deep humility, true love, inner peace, pure gratitude for the many blessings I have received in my life, for the many experiences (good and bad). I was consumed with the Holy Spirit and It was moving within me. I cannot explain the feeling but I do wish I could feel like that forever. Tears kept running down my cheeks as I closed my eyes and kept singing wonderful worship to The Creator. I was with Mon, she was probably embarassed by me. Not just the crying but probably due to my not too impressive voice as well. Hehe. Mon did tell me later that when she sings back home, the music and words also move her to tears.

I go to Mass in Holy Family Church, Kajang. There's just something about the Mass celebrated there. It is essentially in English but there is a big Sabah/Sarawak crowd as well so certain songs, homily's and readings are in BM. I truly enjoy attending Mass here. It is good for Mon too, she gets to be more involved in Mass. It is always a truly holy experience. Until today, I still cry during mass, especially during the hymns. Somehow, the presence of God seems stronger in Holy Family compared to other churches I've been to. But it's probably my personal preference on how the Mass is celebrated. They even sing the Our Father in a different way. It's beautiful.

I feel like I have done injustice to the Holy Spirit in my attempt to explain how It's presence within me has made me feel. I guess the feeling is beyond words. As the song goes, "You are beautiful beyond description...."

I STAND IN AWE
(Psalm 33:8)

You are beautiful beyond description
Too marvelous for words
Too wonderful for comprehension
Like nothing ever seen or heard

Who can grasp
Who can fathom
The depth of Your love?
You are beautiful beyond description
Majesty enthroned above
Chorus:
And I stand, I stand in awe of You
I stand, I stand in awe of You
Holy God to Whom
All praise is due
I stand in awe of You
I stand in awe of You
I stand in awe of You