I am at one of my lowest points as I drive back from work on Monday. I cannot take it anymore. I scream to You. On the top of my lungs. I beg You to help me. I cry and cry until I shake. And I have all my hope in You. What happens next just about kills my spirit. I miss my exit and find myself in the wrong direction. I find myself on the way to Sungai Buloh. Calm down I tell myself. Otta's phone is unreachable. My instinct is to call my mother, she always finds a way to make me feel better. First things first, get off the road. Thank God for the Sungai Buloh reststop. I wait there and wail. My mother is on the line listening to her beloved daughter go hysterical. I can tell she desperately wants to help me but can only do so much. She is on the verge of tears but holds back for my sake. It kills me to put her through the pain of hurting for me. But that's what mother's are for. Strong. They take away as much pain of ours as they can and make it their own. Selfless. She then passes the phone to my father as she tries to get through to Otta. I am in no condition to drive back on my own she tells me. My father's words are logical and calm and I start to think straight. I tell myself I need to be strong. A mother needs to be strong and dependable.
No need to pick me up I tell Otta through my mother. I can find my way back. After pulling myself together and wiping my eyes dry, I head in the direction of Sungai Buloh. So misleading our Malaysian signboards for they told me I would be able to make a u-turn to KL about 1 km down. But several km's later, still no u-turn. Next signboard reads Rawang. I get a call from Allen who tells me I'm on the Guthrie Highway and that I need not worry because it isn't a long highway (like the KL-JB highway). Ok great. All I can do is go on and on until I see some sort of sign. Finally, I see Klang/Shah Alam exit. Relief sets in. I play my Praise & Worship in my phone. As I drive along this country highway (seriously), You talk to me. You tell me that You have not abandoned me but that You have yet to SAVE me. And it all made sense to me. Everything fell into place. I realized that this suffering is a NECESSARY part of Your plan for me. Also that You have more suffering in store for me before You decide to pick me up in Your glory. I am in fear of what is to come but things are clearer to me now and I find myself more dependent on You. I do not know Your plan and I do not understand Your ways. But I put my trust in You. I must take my cross. As I think of my cross, I hear these words from my phone...."Mighty is the power of the cross...."
As expected, things have taken a turn for the worse, but by Your grace I am calm. By Your grace I am grateful. Thank you. Thank you for the cross. Mighty is the power of the cross.
What can take a dying man and raise him up to life again?
What can heal a wounded soul?
What can make us white as snow?
What can fill the emptiness?
What can mend our brokenness?
Brokenness...
Mighty, awesome, wonderful
Is the holy cross
Where the Lamb laid down His life
To lift us from the fall
Mighty is the power of the cross
What restores our faith in God?
What reveals the Father's love?
What can lead the wayward home?
What can melt a heart of stone?
What can free the guilty ones
What can save and overcome?
Overcome...
It's a miracle to me
It's a miracle to me
And It's still a mystery
It's still a mystery
It's a miracle to me
The power of God
For those who believe
Mighty, awesome, wonderful
Is the holy cross
Where the Lamb laid down His life
To lift us from the fall
Mighty is...Mighty is...Mighty is the power of the cross
Thank You for the cross
Love the cross
So Powerful...ohhhhh yeahhh
What can take a dying man?
And raise him up to life again?
Worship You Jesus
By your wounds we are healed
By your wounds we are saved
Mighty is the power of the cross
Thank You Jesus for the Holy cross
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