LA1

I was at a training from the 22 - 24 April. Leadership Academy 1 at Sunway Lagoon Resort Hotel. This training is targeted at low to medium level managers. It was organized and partially conducted by our Corporate HR. The other part was conducted by an external trainer, SMG Training Systems (S) Pte Ltd. I went in with dread. I was not ready mentally or emotionally to participate or learn anything for that matter. However, I was greatly suprised at how engaging I ended up being. Maybe it was the trainers, maybe the participants/teams and the environment. Maybe it was the scrumptious lunch buffets or the frequent tea times. Or the effects of coffee overdose. I don't know what it was but I truly enjoyed myself and was actually sad when the whole thing ended. And found myself wanting more. I left LA1 a more confident and self-assured person and I'm not sure how this happend. I'm not sure during which stage this transformation occured.

Unsurprisingly, I was teamed up with the quiet, less lively people of the group. Which was fine in the end I guess. They contributed when necessary and supported each other. It was all good in the end. Although there was one particular incident that truly upset me. It happend during a conversation with one of my teammates. It went something like this....

Trailing off from a different conversation:

Offender: .....so, are the Managers (referring to GWS [Global Workplace Solutions] Managers in our company in general and not only participants of the training) qualified? I mean qualified technically.

Me: Yea, I'm sure they're qualified.

Offender: Because I saw the list and they are all ladies. I wonder if they are qualified.

Me: (Totally offended but quiet due to shock/disbelief but smiling still). Hmmm....

Offender: (Repeats the offence) I saw the list and they are all ladies. Are they qualified technically. Makes you wonder....

Me: Well, I am qualified. I have a degree in Electrical & Electronics Engineering. So I'm sure they have the right qualifications to do the job. (I eventually walk away too pissed off to look at his face any longer)

Things to Note:

1. There were 20 participants, 2 who were women (myself and a HR manager).

2. Offender's English was actually really crap. I polished it quite a bit for him. Eventhough he doesn't deserve it.

3. He is this small Malaysian guy who looks like he can't even hurt a fly. He manages a team of 4-6 direct reports in Vietnam. (I hope none of them are women).

And then.... he goes on to prove that he is not only a sexist but a racist as well....

In another conversation ( I can't avoid him entirely because he is in my team and there are a lot of team activities) about Sabah and when he was there donkey years ago:

Offender: ...ya, there are so many of them on the streets. They were everywhere, begging. (He does the begging hand gestures). Squatting on the streets.

Me: Oh really. There aren't more beggars in KK than there are in KL. (I actually kept quiet and didn't say this. I wish I did though. Shocked into silence).

Offender: They were everywhere begging. And they were so black. So black.

Me: (Stunned and wanting to punch him on the face)

Offender: They were sooo black.

Me: (I walk off too shocked to say anything)

At first I just needed to vent. And then I stopped myself from bitching to the next person I see. I think about it and end up feeling sorry for the guy. He didn't even realize that he had offended me (and the rest of the female and dark-skinned population). He wasn't born a racist or sexist. He was raised in an environment that made him think this way. So I could have helped him realize this but I didn't. Instead I kept quiet.

During one of the training sessions on company values, one participant shared a personal experience on racism. In his previous company, there was a talented manager who was short tempered. He was in a department discussion and a new talented dark-skinned employee of African American decent (me trying to be politically correct here) contributed with a suggestion. And this manager fired back saying, "Oh keep quiet! What do you black people know?" in front of the whole department. The HR director who was present immediately reprimanded this manager. He told him that his behaviour is unacceptable and goes against all company values. He demanded the manager apologize to the new employee. Which he did do finally but ended up leaving the company not long after.

After listening to this story, I was reminded of the incident that happend earlier. I was tempted to share my experience as well but was unsure whether it was the right thing to do as the offender was a participant. So I kept quiet. Darn, it would have been a great story. And maybe Mr. Offender would have learned something.

Later in the day I spoke to some HR representatives that were present and they told me that I should have rought it up during the discussion. It would have been the right thing to do. Oh menyesal.... Then they advised me to talk to the man and tell him how what he said offended me and that it was inappropriate. I was determined to talk to the little man. But delayed the confrontation until it was too late. Argh. Can you say bo-do?