Happy Deepavali & Selamat Hari Raya

Half my department is gone for the holidays. Half of them are Indians. As I am one of 2 non-Indians/Malays in my department, my leave for Wednesday, 2nd November, 2005 has been rejected.

My stomach is a rollercoaster. My mind is in shambles. Tomorrow is a big day for me. Huge. Meet The Parents, again.

My partition is up and I finally have a room to myself. Bought a bed that comes with a side table for 374 inclusive delivery and assembly (delivery is only on the 12th November). Its not from Ikea. Got a closet from Courts Mammoth, of all the places (delivery after Hari Raya). Hey, it was nice and cheap and I paid cash, not the total rip-off installment thing they have going on there. And my queen size mattress is from Carrefour. Wait a minute, I didnt get anything from Ikea. Well, i did, bedsheets, quilt, etc. I will be getting my side lamp, rug and mirror from Ikea. Cant wait till I can put everything together. Yay. Nice dat. I am missing something very crucial in my room. A fan. I actually have 2/3 of a fan. You see, the ceiling fan was installed smack in the middle of my partition so what the contractor did was remove one blade. I have 2 out of 3 blades and a fan that I cant turn on. Was waiting for the contractor to relocate it for me yesterday, as promised but he didnt show. Thank God its been raining quite a bit these days. Another thing, my partition is made of gypsum board, which doesnt absorb sound very well. Hmmm... I gotta do something about that.

Me and my B on top of the world! 

Francis John: 14th October 2005 

When Tuesdays are like Mondays

Tuesdays are actually worse than Mondays when its the first day of the week after a holiday. Especially when it was a great holiday. Damn it. I have a headache. So many things to do. Dont know where to start.

Langkawi was wonderful. I was super excited to go on this romantic-weekend-getaway with my boy but had no expectations for what Langkawi had to offer. Touchdown at Langkawi International Airport at 12.30pm. Rented a car, 2005 Honda Civic ('dats why'... boyfren a car freak). Drove, or shall i say flew to Kuah Town. Bought a JD, Bristol Cream, Bacardi and JW Gold Label. Had a quick and cheap lunch - chicken rice and fried kueh teow. Then we 'took off' to Burau Bay, which is on the other side of the island. At around 2.30pm, we checked into Berjaya Langkawi Resort & Spa. The concept here is similar to Gayana Island Resort (only difference is Gayana is nicer). There are several chalets on stilts along the beachfront and several hundred chalets scattered across the hills a 100 feet away. The beachfront chalets although several times more expensive were unimpressive. Unlike Gayana where the stilts are solid wood, the stilts here were concrete pillars and the chalets rested on them several metres above the water's surface. Truly defeats the purpose of having water chalets. The water is so far down, its scary. No nice water-all-around-you feeling.

Bala and i stayed on the hills. The chalet did not provide the 5-STAR comfort that i was expecting but it was simply comfortable. Minus the fact that our air-conditioner broke down TWICE. Crappy maintainence. The chalets are spread out quite far so they have shuttle vans that bring you from your room to the lobby. Quite nice. The swimming pool was beautiful. Typical resort style. Jacuzzi, pool side bar, waterfall, the works. Happy hour at the pool side bar is between 5pm and 7 pm. Drinks are 50% off. Our beers cost us RM5 each, and the cocktails only RM9. Holy crap!

The sand was decent, white and soft. The sea was a tad disappointing. A bit like Tanjung Aru Beach. Worse actually, there were sharp rocks on the seabed. Hard to avoid when the water isnt clear. Painful. We did have a good time lying under our personal gazebo soaking in the sun. Forgot to bring House Of Sand & Fog with me.

The weather throughout most of the days was sad. Late afternoons were nice and warm. Did not get much of a tan. Good also la. Part of the hotel package is we got free cable-car tickets. This was surprisingly quite an exciting experience, spectacular views. If you ever find yourself in Langkawi, i recommend you take the cable-car ride.

I played pool and sucked AGAIN. There are some things that some people are just not meant to do. Sigh. No, no, all it takes is practice. Next time you see me, i will be a champion pool player. Yeah.

My b has left me again. I am all alone. All i have left to do is have Klang Bah Kut Teh for dinner tonight with my colleagues. Yay.

TGIF

Thank God Its Friday!

By this time tomorrow, i will be lying down on a white sandy beach, with a mug of a beer in one hand and the House of Sand & Fog in the other, waiting for the sun to set. I'm going to Langkawi. I know it doesnt sound so exotic or even romantic but it beats the hustle and bustle and thick smog of KL hands-down. Will be sure to bring an extra bottle down for the next 'girl's night out'. Yay.

No more beer sessions. Sob. Sob. My beer-gut-producing drinking sessions have now turned into sipping a couple of romantic cocktails and sucking at the end of a shisha pipe. Dont get me wrong, I truly enjoy it, its quality time with the boy. But sometimes I do miss the deafening noise (mostly from me, i know.), the laughing till your tummy aches, the unending sarcasm and the peoples stares. It was always a great feeling.

I received my business cards today, finally. Yay. I dont have to go around giving contractors a tiny piece of paper with my contact details written on it. How unprofessional.

UPDATE

Oh gawd guys, I really dont feel like working today. So hard to get myself out of bed just now. Bala stayed over. It was so damn good to see him after one week. I got myself a Punjabi Suit on Tuesday. Its cotton in a soft orange. The pants are hilarious. Hammer pants made for Heavy D. Its that time of the year where I have to suck-up and fake it. Smile. Smile. Look damn sweet and nice and 'perfect'. Its not easy. A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. The things I do for love. sigh.

Meeting up with Francis John tomorrow night for drinks and maybe dinner, Bangsar probably. Has it really been 10 years? A decade since our library days Yo. Wow.

I attended my company's FY06 Kick-Off cum Team Building yesterday at Holiday Inn, Glenmarie. I think I had 5 meals. We spent the whole morning listening to directors/managers blab on and on about EBIT, NOA, ANOA, bla bla bla...boring! After lunch we had our Team Building, which was actually loads of fun. Got to mingle with quite a few VIPs. Im pretty sure I made a good first impression. Good.

I have moved into punes apartment, currently sharing a room. Will be getting my own room by the end of the month. We are going to build a partition between the dining area and living room. Cant wait to pick out furniture for my new room - Ikea, here i come! Guess what color its going to be. He he. My boss just walked in.

I want him!

DJ Music. I love him already but he wont be mine.

Shannon is 1

My parents and Meriel are here visiting. Shannon turned 1 yesterday. How fast time flies. It was a year ago I announced here that I was Aunty Pu. We had a barbeque at Pantai Panorama playground. Let me excite your appetite with the menu:

Pasta with meat balls in bolognaise sauce
Lemon rice (very Indian)
Mila's famous pork rolls with chicken sausage, egg and raisins
Barbequed Chicken wings, fish, squid, chicken and pork satay
Caesar Salad
Fried Pork Wantans
Rich Chocolate Cake from Strudels
Fruit Punch
JD Coke on the rocks

Another thing, my mom gave Shannon a new name. Shannon Lissa Chim Pan Zee. Lim Han Zi - get it? Monkey la she.

The Days Are Long And The Nights Are Longer

My eye bags are spreading across my face. I got done with work at 8.30 pm last night. I remember swearing not so long ago that i would never do this. Here I am. You know what, it isnt half as bad as i thought it would be. I do still have a life. I went drinking in Bangsar last night- Bala, his colleagues and some visitors from Australia. Had Shisha to the moon and back.

Latest update: I may be adopting. Before your eye balls pop out of their sockets, i should tell you that it wont be a (human) baby but will actually be an 11th month old Jack Russell Terrier. He is the cutest. I fell in love with him instantly. How not to?Pray i get him. I do have to figure out where to keep him until i move into my own place and also how well he will get along with Punie's crazy-cat. I still want him.

I played pool. More shocking news. When your boss is standing there with a cue in his hand insisting that you play, can say 'no' ah? I sucked. Expected. Ha ha. We had some beers. It was all good. There is a Bowling Tournament on the 1st October. My department is sending in 2 teams. I am in Team 1: Rews Balls. Explain later.

My company shuts down for 5 days during Christmas so i should be back for a long break. Forced leave. Yay. I will be going to Langkawi mid October. A nice romantic getaway with the boy-boy.

Missing home. Drink for me occasionally. Yo, when in December will you be in KL?

A WHOLE NEW WORLD

It feels great being of sound mind again. Clarity. Ahh…

Day 4 at HP Towers. I don’t have an anal Office Manager called Francis. Thank God.

What I do have—Carol; is a good-looking boss who seems TOTALLY your type (maybe yours too Yo) but I find out this morning that he is married. Oh well.

From today onwards, your dear friend Pu will disappoint you no more. Regular BLOG updates I promise. Internet at my desk. It’s all good girls (and boys).

I am seated at my own cubicle with my own IP phone and Notebook (ahem!). Free breakfast in the pantry every morning. And a coffee/tea/Milo machine. I really do think I’m going to like it here. Also, we have fusball machines and OSIM Massage chairs.

Guess what guys, yesterday (my third day at work) I left the office at 7pm. Two years at Power Project, the latest I ever left the office was at 5.30pm. And that was on ONE occasion. I don’t have a punch card. Woohoo. But I do have to take a 5minute-shuttle from my parking spot to my building. Not enough parking spaces within the building. RM7/day but fully claimable.

Four days and my colleagues seem nice enough. They drink. All I need to know really. Missing my beer sessions though. I will be meeting up with Jon this Friday night for his birthday bash. Venue not confirmed yet. Will drink on behalf.

Got my ipod shuffle, coolness. Did you know you could allocate how much space you want for data storage and music storage?

I will be apartment hunting today. Pantai Panorama is so expensive. Furnished 2-room apartments can exceed 2k. We are looking into an unfurnished place for 1.2k. Wish us (myself, the other Pu and Elaine) good luck.

Shannon Lissa Lim Han Zi is so funny. New monkey tricks everyday. She will be 1 years old in 19 days. Amazing how time flies. She can wave goodbye, say hi to everyone--passersby included, kiss-on-demand (real nice, long and wet ones complete with ‘mmmm…’ sound effects), stamp her feet, shake her head to the beat, dance, imitate construction sounds-drilling etc., make/copy a million+1 facial expressions. She has song preferences, her favorite channels are MTV and channel V. She calls her mummy—mama, her daddy—papa and her nanny—mimi. I’m not sure where that came from.

Oh, I do miss KK. I miss my home, my family, my Tao and Haze. I miss my buddies. It takes me 15-20 mins to drive to work everyday. No jam. Not bad. Also, my brother in-law will be getting his 3-series by this week, buy number ok: 6373.

Being Mixed Up In The Mind

Confused.

Utterly.

You Guys

It’s good to know that if I gained 30 lbs, it would make no difference to the way ‘you guys’ feel about me.

It’s good to know that when times are bad, I will always have’ you guys’ to cry to/with.

It’s good to know that I can laugh like a hyena, snort like a pig, act goofy, walk funny and be as loud as I want with ‘you guys’ because this is why you love me.

It’s good to know that I will never feel alone in this world as long as ‘you guys‘ are around.

It’s good to know that what we share is special and unique and that we are very blessed to have each other.

It’s good to know that the years passed have made us strong and the years ahead will only make us stronger.

It’s good to know that I actually have 8 sisters instead of 3.

It’s good to know that I always have ‘you guys’ to kick back and enjoy beers with and just bitch about the world around us.

It’s good to know that we still enjoy each other’s company even though sometimes we may see too much of each other.


Just a little something for my girlfriends to remind us to never take our friendship for granted and to let them know that I love ‘you guys’ so damn much.

holiday no more

Don’t you just love holidays? They are never long enough. I have been away for 12 days and this Monday is probably one of the worst ever. I am contemplating taking the rest of the day off. The capitol city has not changed much. The clubbing scene seems to have grown quite a bit since my last trip. I went to Bar Savanh with my B and Yo the other day, quite a nice place. They have sofa’s you can lie down on, very cozy. Pretty water features.

Didn’t do any shopping this time round. Too busy taking care of (and enjoying) the niece. There were a lot of sales going on apparently. Missed ‘em all! Yo, you have made me shoe crazy. Cant stop thinking of shoes these days. Shoes are so sexy!

I met Shannon for the first time. She is the sweetest little baby you have ever seen. Her cheeks are spilling out and she has a triple chin. Its so much fun just watching her sleep. Sometimes I want to pick her up and squeeze her till she wakes up. She makes the cutest little baby noises every time she wakes up. I love watching her eyes half-open, looking up at me drowsily. She is so damn cute. Her skin is so soft and smells wonderful. Can’t wait to have her in my arms again. She just started bottle-feeding. First time my mom tried giving her the bottle, the poor thing cried so much. After the longest time, she finally latched on the teat and then it was my mom’s turn to cry. Now, I know where I get all of my emotions.

I visited 2 people for Hari Raya, my aunt and a friend from UNITEN. Beef Rendang at my aunt’s was great. So damn good. The meat was so tender but not mushy, still firm. Didn’t have much to eat at the other place, the food was catered plus it was late in the day and it didn’t look too fresh anymore AND I was recovering from food poisoning.

Spent the day at my B’s house for Deepavali. The food was good and I regret not pigging-out more. I’m getting hungry just thinking about it. No worries, I’m going home later to have a huge serving of spaghetti bolognaise. The time is 4.44pm and it’s a Friday, TGIF!

Papers Suck

You know everyday after reading the papers I tell myself that I will never read another one again. Yet every morning there it is on my table and I cant help but pick it up and flip through it, waiting to spot some stupid article that will piss me off. Well, today, yet again I find something that just makes me want to never read another paper again. Read the following excerpt (a guilty man’s defense).

Drunk Who Strangled Wife With Saree:

“ The accused who was tired and heavily drunk lost his mind as well as his sense of judgment, slapped his wife before suffocating her with a pillow and finally tying her neck with a saree” he said. He said, Ravinderan thought his wife who had then become quiet had gone to sleep and he went to sleep himself. “Only the next morning did he realize his wife was dead” he said. She was the mother of his 3 children.

“In his drunken state he has made a mistake that proved fatal” he added. “He made a mistake. We all make mistakes. But the accused is not so lucky as he must spend t he rest of his life paying for that mistake”


“He made a mistake. We all make mistakes.” What are they talking about here, murder or jaywalking? A mistake is when you run a red light or cheat on a test. Not even those. Mistakes are supposed to be unintentional, right? When you strangle someone (you supposedly love) AND suffocate him or her with a pillow AND tie a saree around his or her neck, that doesn’t count as a mistake. That is murder. No mistake there. And what’s this about him being ‘not so lucky’? Do we care whether luck is on his side? No! He SHOULD pay for it the rest of his life. And what is he going to tell his THREE children? “Sorry, daddy killed mummy, now there’s only your ‘violent when drunk’ daddy left to take care of you, OR kill you if you nag me about coming home late and drunk.” Oh, another thing, who goes to sleep while being strangled?? Oh yea, he was drunk (lost his mind and sense of judgment and all), I forgot. It’s an excuse for everything nowadays.

This defense seems like total crap to me but hey, it sure fooled the jury. He only got 12 years. For murder!

tom yam-my

My mum brought me out for brunch today. We had Tom Yam somewhere near my office. The lady who took our order was nice enough and we were real friendly (polite and smiley). My mother is never unfriendly. The Tom Yam wasn’t great (too ‘asam’) but we finished it anyway. We get done and my mom asks this lady (same lady who took our order) for some ‘tissue’ (you know la Tom Yam, the corners of my mouth were orange, I think). Anyway, the lady points to a box mounted on the wall a few feet away. My mom and I are like ok (so damn full), maybe later on the way out (at this point I’m thinking it would be nice if she could grab a few for us since she was standing close to the box, she doesn’t of course). Two seconds later, she looks for something behind the counter and places it on the table to our left. Voila! A new tissue box! The people eating at the table look up surprised. Ok, whatever. The bitch goes back to the counter and grabs another box, walks right passed us and places it on the table to our right, and again the people eating look up surprised. I roll my eyes up and look at my mum confused. She just shakes her head and tells me she is as shocked as I am. I ask, “why?” My mom doesn’t know. Who knows? I really don’t understand some people, the things they do for no particular reason. It’s so weird. I’m thinking that maybe when my mum asked for tissue, she realized that none of the tables had any. So she decided to place some boxes randomly and assumed that we already had/didn’t need tissue anymore. Or maybe she just wasn’t thinking.

Thoughts On A Monday Morning

Guess what! After all that ‘preparation’ I ended up sitting on my ass at home watching re-re-runs of Beach Retreats on Discovery Travel & Advenchure (Ian wright style). Shoulda gone, shoulda gone (shake head, shake head). Mondays never get better do they? Today is Shannon’s 1 month birthday. She is the cutest baby her daddy ever seen. I nearly bought Wally Lamb’s, I Know This Much Is True just because its in Oprah’s Book Club. Did you watch Oprah Prime Time last night? Damn it. Never have I cried so much while watching TV. It was the episode with John Travolta and Joaquin Phoenix (Ladder 49). Remember Mattie Stepanek? He died in June 2004. He got an official fireman’s funeral. They had his mom on the show. She spoke of his last few days, how much he’d suffered. He held on for 2 whole weeks because his mother didn’t want him to leave her. The moment she said he could ‘rest’, he died. Everyone was crying. Real crying, not just damp eyes, but rolling tears and wiping of eyes. So sad. You know how when you cry during a sad scene in a movie and you try to hide it? A pretend cough or an itchy eye? We (myself, my mom and Meriel) cried so much we didn’t bother hiding it (as if we could). It hurt my throat holding in my tears.


Did you know that going to church gives me such peace? Only recently have I felt this way (the past year or so). I feel it even when I am half asleep on the pew, even when I try so hard to concentrate on the sermon and I still cant, even when I’m there but really I’m not. I realize that this isn’t really the way that I should be attending mass but I am only human after all (and some priests are really not gifted in holding a crowd). I must say Father Nicholas keeps me interested all the time. He is full of passion and it rubs off.

Did you know that you can renew your passport in a day? I remember the days when it took close to a month before you get your new passport (send KL-process-back to KK). Did you know too that you can get an Australian visitors visa within 20 seconds online for only AUD20?

Mental Preparation

Yay! I am going running today at Tun Fuad Park! It’s great and I love it. Working out has never been so exciting. Even when my body just cant take it anymore, I keep going because its so much fun. Just when I think I am about to collapse and my heart is pumping so fast my veins might burst, I tell myself just a little bit more. The sweat running down my face, and back, and chest and legs feels too good for me to stop. The muscles in my thighs about to cramp up and the stitch growing in my stomach wont bring me down. The air is fresh, the scent of the forest and the sound of the jungle bugs; so peaceful and relaxing. I keep coming back, three times a week, asking for more. The hills are extra special. The wonderful feeling upon reaching the top, you think you’re going to die and whaddya know, the downhill slope is there to accelerate you back to life. Once the running is all over, I have yet another fun event waiting for me. Crunches. They are great. You know your tummy is doing the work when every other feeling is numbed by the ache round the center of your belly. Yay! I can’t wait. It’s going to be great.

Jewel

Jewel by Brett Lott. I got this book at Pay Less Books for RM6. It has a place in Oprah’s Book Club (for all you Oprah fans). Even after putting the book down for a break, I felt like the book was alive around me; the story was still going on. I could feel it, the lives of the characters so vivid. Its like the story was happening in real time somewhere but I couldn’t see it, just feel it. The characters (the Hilburn family) felt like real people. No one that I knew, but I just felt like their story was real. So real. Their lives followed me wherever I went; the feeling was quite amazing. Jewel is set between 1940 and 1960. The epilogue is set in 1984. Brett Lott writes like a woman, I love it. He seems to know exactly how a woman feels. Jewel is an amazing story of one woman’s life. The story of her husband and her children and one very special child (a ‘Mongolian Idiot’) that is God’s way of smiling down on their family. I admire Jewel for her courage, faith, strength and determination to make things work for her family, with the help and support she sometimes got from her children and husband. The story is true to life.

I enjoy reading books that follow closely the lives of people, the hardships they have had to go through and burdens they have had to carry. I am motivated by their success to rise above it all and their ability at the end to look back and see just how much they have learned and achieved and loved and lost. No regrets. Reading is an escape for me. When work gives me no sense of achievement, when the only content in a paper worth reading is the horoscope, everything else is too depressing, when I realize that most people don’t give a shit about each other, when there is nothing on tv because Astro sucks, when my family isn’t exactly annoying but I just need my time alone, when I feel closer to the people in the pages than real people around me, when it’s ‘bulan tua’ and I am broke, when I think of the human race and how shallow, materialistic and superficial we are becoming, when I wish I could just inject evil people with love, when I wish I had my dream job, when I wish I knew what my dream job is, when I wish I was not such a chicken shit, when I wish I have more self-confidence, when I wish I had narrow hips and longer legs, when I wish I could find the perfect hairstyle for me. The list goes on. I like happy endings. It doesn’t mean that no one can die/be heartbroken/suffer etc (that would be plain boring). I just need a little note in the end telling me that even though all that shit (death, heartbreak, suffering) had to happen, they got over it, know what I mean? I know it’s pathetic. I need the encouragement that is all. It sounds depressing I’m sure, but really I’m not depressed. Just been thinking that’s all.

All I want is to be happy. I’m sure that is all everyone really wants. We are always looking at the people around us and we see the ways that they make our lives unhappy/difficult. It’s so hard to look in the mirror and see that our happiness is in our own hands. Things happen to us for a reason. It is not important ‘what’ happens to us but ‘how’ we deal with the cards that we have been dealt. I feel like I have been handed pretty good cards so I guess there is a lot that I cannot understand. Even so, I think we have to be determined to help ourselves. No wallowing in self-pity. You can’t change other people but you can change yourself. That is why I admire Jewel Hilburn so much. She was one determined woman and she got everything she wanted. As determined as she was though, she never let herself be blinded. She always took the time to stop and look to make sure that she wasn’t fighting for something she didn’t need. She really is an amazing woman. I believe in finding a balance in everything. I don’t believe in extremes. I believe in the power of God and prayer and faith. Above all, I believe in love. So to all of you who are reading this, I LOVE YOU! Drama queen oh drama queen.

aunty pu,aunty pu,aunty pu, woohoo!
Shannon Lissa Lim D.O.B: 25th September 2004 Time: 2.03pm Weight: 7lbs

Poring, Ranau, July 2004